Therapy can change your life. But it’s not magic. It doesn’t always work, and sometimes it makes things harder before they get better. If you’re thinking about starting therapy, you deserve to know the real downsides-not just the hopeful stories you see online.
It can be expensive
In the UK, private therapy sessions typically cost between £60 and £120 per hour. Even if you’re on a waiting list for the NHS, the wait can be six months or longer. Many people drop out before they even get started because they can’t afford it or don’t have the time to wait. Insurance doesn’t always cover it, and even when it does, you might still pay a £20 or £30 co-pay per session. For someone living paycheck to paycheck, that adds up fast. A few months of therapy could cost more than a month’s rent.
It doesn’t work for everyone
Not everyone benefits from therapy. Studies show that about 10-15% of people don’t improve at all, and some even feel worse. Why? Because therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. A person who needs trauma-focused CBT might get stuck in talk therapy that doesn’t address their core issues. Someone with severe anxiety might need medication first. Or they might just need a change in environment-more sleep, less stress, a new job-not someone asking them to revisit painful memories.
And then there’s the therapist mismatch. Finding the right one is like dating. You might need to try three or four before you find someone who actually gets you. If your therapist is dismissive, too passive, or just doesn’t click, you’re wasting time and money. And sometimes, you’ll feel too ashamed to admit it didn’t work.
It can bring up painful emotions
Therapy isn’t always comforting. In fact, it often feels worse before it gets better. Talking about childhood trauma, failed relationships, or deep regrets can trigger panic attacks, insomnia, or sudden waves of sadness. Some people leave therapy feeling more anxious, more depressed, or more isolated than when they started. This isn’t failure-it’s part of the process. But no one warns you about it.
Imagine digging up a buried box. You thought it held old photos. Instead, it’s full of broken glass and rusted nails. That’s what therapy can feel like. And you have to sit with it. For weeks. Sometimes months.
It takes time-and patience you might not have
Therapy isn’t a quick fix. Real change takes months, sometimes years. People expect to feel better after three sessions. When they don’t, they quit. But therapy isn’t like taking a pill. It’s like learning to ride a bike while someone’s holding you up, then slowly letting go. You’ll wobble. You’ll fall. You’ll get frustrated.
And if you’re in crisis-losing your job, going through a divorce, grieving a death-you might not have the emotional bandwidth to keep showing up. Therapy requires consistency. Regular sessions. Homework. Reflection. That’s hard when you’re already overwhelmed.
Stigma still exists
Even in 2026, people still whisper about therapy. In some families, going to a therapist means you’re "broken." In workplaces, admitting you’re in therapy can make you seem unstable. Some bosses quietly assume you’re not "cut out" for leadership. Friends might stop inviting you to events because they think you’re "too heavy" or "too emotional."
And for men, especially, the stigma is worse. Asking for help is still seen as weakness. So many men start therapy, then quit after one session because they feel judged. They’d rather suffer in silence than admit they need support.
It can create dependency
Therapy is supposed to help you become independent. But sometimes, it does the opposite. You start relying on your therapist to tell you what to do. You text them between sessions. You cancel plans because you "need to process" something. You feel lost without your weekly appointment.
This isn’t common-but it happens. Especially with people who’ve spent years in and out of therapy. Without clear boundaries, the relationship can become a safety blanket instead of a bridge to self-reliance.
It’s not a substitute for real-life change
Therapy can’t fix your job if it’s toxic. It can’t pay your bills. It can’t make your partner stop yelling. It can’t give you a safe place to live.
Some people go to therapy hoping it’ll solve their housing crisis, their debt, or their abusive relationship. But therapy won’t change those things. It can help you cope, but it won’t fix the system. And that can leave you feeling even more powerless.
If you’re in an abusive relationship, therapy might help you understand your patterns-but it won’t get you out. You still need a safety plan, a lawyer, a shelter. Therapy alone won’t save you.
It’s not always evidence-based
Anyone can call themselves a therapist. In the UK, titles like "counsellor" or "life coach" aren’t legally protected. So you might end up with someone who’s trained for six weeks online and has no clinical oversight. They might use unproven methods-energy healing, past-life regression, or unstructured talk sessions with no clear goals.
Real evidence-based therapies-like CBT, DBT, EMDR, or ACT-have decades of research behind them. But not every therapist uses them. And unless you know what to look for, you might waste months on something that doesn’t work.
It can feel lonely
Therapy is one person talking to another in a quiet room. No one else is there. No group. No community. Just you and your thoughts. For people who crave connection, this can feel isolating. Especially if you’re used to talking to friends, family, or online communities.
You might leave a session feeling heard-but also alone. Because the person who heard you? They’re not your friend. They’re paid to listen. And when the hour ends, they go home.
That’s not a flaw in therapy. It’s built into the structure. But it’s worth knowing.
What to do instead
Therapy isn’t the only path. If cost, time, or stigma are stopping you, try:
- Support groups-free, peer-led, and often more relatable than one-on-one sessions.
- Online CBT programs-like SilverCloud or MoodGYM-available on the NHS and low-cost.
- Journaling-writing down your thoughts for 10 minutes a day can reduce anxiety as much as therapy for some people.
- Exercise-a 30-minute walk five times a week has been shown to reduce depression symptoms as effectively as medication.
- Peer mentoring-connecting with someone who’s been through what you’re going through.
Therapy is powerful. But it’s not the only tool. And it’s not always the right one-for your situation, your budget, or your mental state right now.
Is therapy worth it if it doesn’t work right away?
It depends. Most people need at least 8-12 sessions to start seeing real change. If you’ve tried three sessions and feel worse, it might be the therapist, not the process. Try switching providers. If you’re still stuck after six months, consider whether therapy is the right tool for your issue-maybe you need medication, housing support, or a change in environment instead.
Can therapy make anxiety worse?
Yes, it can. Talking about trauma, confronting fears, or challenging deep beliefs can trigger panic, insomnia, or emotional overwhelm. This is called a therapeutic crisis, and it’s normal-but not inevitable. A good therapist will warn you, pace the work, and help you build coping skills before diving deep. If you’re not given tools to manage distress, that’s a red flag.
Why do some people quit therapy after one session?
The most common reasons are: the therapist didn’t feel like a good fit, the session felt too uncomfortable or vague, or they expected immediate relief. Some people feel judged or misunderstood. Others realize they’re not ready to talk about their issues yet. Quitting after one session doesn’t mean therapy won’t work-it just means that session wasn’t the right match.
Is therapy only for people with serious mental illness?
No. Therapy helps with everyday struggles too-burnout, relationship stress, grief, low self-esteem, or feeling stuck. You don’t need a diagnosis to benefit. In fact, many people who go to therapy for "normal" life challenges end up preventing bigger problems later.
How do I know if my therapist is qualified?
Check if they’re registered with a professional body like the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy (BACP), UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP), or Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC). Ask about their training, how long they’ve been practicing, and what approach they use. Evidence-based methods like CBT, DBT, or EMDR have proven results. If they can’t explain their methods clearly, walk away.
